Whew.

I've been struggling with the concept of government evil lately. Just a few minutes ago, shallow in the throes of pre-slumber, I witnessed a half-dream. Perhaps a vision from God, perhaps a machination of my own imagination. Seems a bit out of my league, wisdom wise, but I'm not going to claim to speak for God.

I was talking to Jesus, and we were standing.

I explained how I was feeling about the taxes I was being charged on my income for this job. 15%. It gets me absolutely livid that they are taking one of every six dollars I earn to waste on nonsense. Not only nonsense either- evil. I'll avoid the political specifics.

"They're taking advantage of me!" I protested

"So?" He said.

I was stymied by this reply. In my head, within my head, I pondered out every avenue by which I could prove that I was rendered helpless by the government's meddling. They all landed in Rome- the only thing that the government is stealing from me is money.

Even if they were stealing more- "So?" I shouldn't own anything. I gave that up becoming a Christian. My possessions are no more mine then the body I am being loaned. Frightening.

Everything that I have, that I am, rests on the edge of a knife. It is by God's grace that I was born in the U.S.A., it is by God's grace that I have the capability to work.

The only thing that this money buys me is another couple of semesters at Roberts. That's all I want. I believe that God has called me to nursing. If I fail because of something as outside the realm of my influence as financial trouble, when I've sacrificed a summer of freedom for an ministry internship, the fault is not with me. It's my responsibility to respond to an issue like that, but it's not my problem, per se.

But despite all those quick thoughts, through whom prose is a sluggish navigator, I still had one last comeback. Frustrated by being blocked so easily before, I stepped forward with my final attempt, my voice raised.

"You're supposed to be a God of Justice! Where is justice?!"

And He said, "Where, indeed." And my vision of us standing was replaced by a vision of a small African child, starving. And I saw all the wealth I'm couched in.

And I dropped my head and said "Take me there."

I've had my share of luxury in this life. I don't want to become another cog in this machine. God forbid I profit off anything done by the people I loathe so deeply. I only hope I'll have the strength when the day comes to do the right thing and leave.

I think I have to leave.

The Continued Adventures of Africaboy in Virginia, and the Chronologically and Spatially Juxtaposed Adventures in Washington, D.C., OR, Check It Out, This Is My Longest Title Ever But At This Point I'm Kinda Cheating

This trip is off to an interesting start.
It's far more of an evangelism opportunity than I was prepared for in my mind. I wasn't ready for this. But I feel like I'm growing exponentially. In some ways I think God kinda tricked me into this, but at the same time, I knew that I was crossing over into new territory here.

The people are fantastic. Everywhere I go, I'm met by people who are really genuine, who are quick to cut to the quick, jump in and get real with each other. Abbey is the other intern serving this summer. She and I talked on the way to our first stop, which was in Pennsylvania, just north of Delaware. We bonded over our shared love of Sufjan Stevens, and our mutual anxiety. She was anxious because this was the culmanation of her four years of bible studies education. This is the final exam for the last four years of her life.

I am anxious because I forgot to study for the test.

That's probably overstating the case. I think I'll be able to handle this competently. But I've never practiced leading people to Christ. I know the Romans Road, but just barely. I don't really play any instruments, bla bla bla.

I keep on thinking about the fact that when I was boarding a plane by myself, shipping off to a developing 3rd world country, without knowing the language and without any skills, I didn't have a care in the world. Just excitement. Somehow, that was such a large thing that I could just shrug it off. "Hey," I said to myself, "I'm powerless; either God shows up, or I die."

Apparently having to talk to people about the reason I have hope is a more grave matter than that.

The conference that was our first stop really convicted me of not only the importance of, but my responsibility to lead people to Christ. I have a beautiful thing glowing in my soul. It is the reason I am alive. Why haven't I been sharing it?